ONE YEAR
by Xim84
Summary: 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8760 hours. To me? So much more.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a super short story I came up with. It will be updated daily. I'm thinking six chapters at most.**

**Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer. S. Meyer owns it all. No copyright infringement is intended. **

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><p><em><strong>ONE YEAR.<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>YEAR.<strong>_

"_**Period of time occupying a regular part of a calendar year that is used for some particular activity."**_

_**"Repetition"**_

_**"Revolution"**_

"_**Among the ancient Egyptians the year consisted of twelve months of thirty days each, with five days added to make it a complete revolution of the earth round the sun."**_

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><p><em><strong>YEAR.<strong>_

"_**The time it took me to get back to you."**_

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><p><strong>June 19th 2011.<strong>

"Babe, you look so hot right now." Jacob whispered in my ear for the tenth time tonight. His left hand laid loosely on my left shoulder, dangling too close to my cleavage. His right hand wandered all over my now uncovered thigh, pulling my dress slightly higher every time his fingers wanted to feel more skin.

I glanced at the cab driver through the rearview mirror. He wasn't looking at us, or at least he was pretending not to.

I took his hand in mine and gently pulled it away. "Honey, we're almost there. You need to stop if we wanna make it one piece to the restaurant."

"I don't wanna." He said huskily, skimming his nose back and forward from my neck to my jaw. He moved his hand back to my thing moving it higher than where he was before.

I looked to the driver once again. His eyes were definitely on me now. Actually, they were fixated on my legs, looking at me like a horny dog.

That made me uncomfortable. Especially with my boyfriend provoking that look. Almost giving him permission to ogle me.

This right here was where his attitude pissed me off. I shouldn't have to go through this. The fucking cab driver shouldn't have to see me get fondled by my boyfriend in the back of his taxi.

"Jacob, stop." I said firmly giving him a pointed look. I took his hand from my thigh again and dropped it on his lap.

He at least had the decency to look somewhat apologetic. "I'm sorry…but it's true. You look so beautiful tonight, I can't wait to show you off to my family, I have a feeling this is gonna be a good night."

I gave him the best forced smile I could come up with. I could feel he was extremely enthusiastic tonight, more so than any other day, but I had no idea why. And maybe if I wasn't in such a foul mood…I would share his excitement –no matter what reason he had to be- but I couldn't.

"We're here." he announced reaching into his pocket to pay the cab driver. We made our way to the restaurant and spotted his entire family already there waiting for us.

It was a rare occasion when they would come visit, but they had arrived in New York from Forks a couple of days ago and they were anxious to see me. At least that was what Jacob had said.

We were greeted warmly by everyone there and the night began. I tried psyching myself into staying calmed and relaxed. It would be a long night.

Conversation flowed easily. Just like the wine I was drinking.

Jacob's parents drilled his son about his job. His sisters drilled me about my clothes and shoes and hand bag. I answered when spoken to. I smiled when I needed to.

Everyone seemed happy. Content.

At some point during the night, the topic turned toward us. And of course, Jacob was more than willing to answer every single question they had. Everyone started talking about us. How great we were doing, how amazed they were that I had dropped everything I had back in Forks and followed him here.

They thought it was so romantic.

I knew the truth, though.

"Well…we're still trying to decide where to live." He answered one of the many questions about our living situation. "Bella is still so stubborn and wants to keep her apartment, but I keep telling her there is absolutely no point in doing so, I'm already there all the time and if we…"

His voice became a muted sound in the background. I couldn't focus on his words. I kept glancing at the clock perched high on the wall in front of me.

It was almost midnight.

I was anxious tonight. I knew what tomorrow was. I knew what tomorrow would entail. And I wasn't ready to deal with it. It was like this every time. Every single month was the same. I kept telling myself it would get better…but it didn't. It hasn't.

Everyone laughed around me. Apparently Jacob said something funny because almost everybody had tears on their eyes from laughing too hard. Not me. My mind was somewhere else. Not in this room. I'm sure it wasn't even in this side of the country.

It was miles away from here. It was where it had always been for the last year.

Tomorrow would be one year.

One year since Jacob and I moved from Forks.

One year since I tried to move on.

Jacob's hand on my shoulder startled me from my thoughts. I turned to look at him and he was waiting for me to answer him.

"Um…I'm sorry. What?"

"I said I have something to ask you." he said slowly.

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

He moved his chair back and made me turn in my chair. He reached over, took my hand and breathed in deeply.

"Bells…you are everything I could ever hope to have. You make me so happy, happier than I ever thought I would be." He reached over to the font pocket of his jacket and pulled out a little black velvet box.

No.

He opened it and…there it was. "Be my wife, Bells?"

Huh?

I didn't know how long I sat the gaping at him. I'm sure the shock must have been evident on my face. I turned to look at his family and they were all looking at me expectantly, but with no real idea as to what was going inside my head.

But when I looked at Jacob…he knew he was in trouble…he knew I hated this. He knew I hated being put on the spotlight like that. Without my consent.

And then I realized that what really bothered me right this instant...was exactly that. The fact that he had felt the urge to do this in front of his family…not the fact that he was proposing. Because to me…the answer had always been clear.

Why did he do this?

To corner me?

To make me say yes?

A loud sound startled me…echoing in my brain. In my mind. Over and over. I knew what it was even before I looked up and my eyes landed one more time on that wall. The clock rang loudly. Signaling it was past midnight.

Signaling it was tomorrow.

Signaling it was June 20th.

Signaling it had been a year.

A year since _he_ left.

"Yes." I said without thinking. "Yes, I'll marry you."

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><p><strong>Any thoughts?<strong>

**Xim.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Remember. Super short.**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer. I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>ONE YEAR. <strong>

**PART 2.**

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><p>Fuck.<p>

Fuck.

What the fuck was my problem?

It was the alcohol. It had to be.

Or maybe it was the pressure of having his family there. Yes, that was it. There was no other explanation.

Right?

But I knew neither one of those two options were true. I knew it.

"Jacob…we need to talk…" I said as soon as we walked into my apartment. But I didn't even get a chance to finish because he closed the door behind him and pressed me into it, kissing me and lifting the skirt of my dress.

"Sure, babe…tomorrow." He moved his lips from mine and went to kiss my neck.

"Come on, Jake…I'm serious." I tried to break free from his grasp without succeeding. I got no response this time. I knew it was futile to keep trying. Once he got riled up there was no stopping him. There was no making him see reason, let alone talk.

His erection pressing into me brought me out of thoughts.

"Tomorrow?" I asked anyway.

"Yeah, sure, sure."

He took my dress of completely moving right to my bra. He pushed it down my breasts, not making a move to remove it completely and immediately latched on to my nipple.

His eagerness was fun at the beginning. Now? Not so much. I couldn't recall a time where I didn't have at least one article of clothing remaining on my body.

He led me to the bedroom, pushed me on the bed and quickly climbed on top of me. He removed my panties and brought his finger down between my legs to feel me up. He was a very attractive man. My body responded to him, I knew it. And now, so did he. Apparently the answer he got was good enough because the next thing I knew he was inside me.

He started thrusting immediately and I started feeling that tingling sensation it came with being close like this. He grabbed my hips to make his thrusts harder. I closed my eyes and regretted it right away. I knew what I would see if I closed them.

I opened them back up and locked my gaze with Jacob. He was panting harshly and profusely. My breathing was getting close to matching his. I was trying really hard to concentrate, I knew I would get it.

As soon as that thought left my mind, Jacob spoke. "Oh fuck babe…you feel so fucking good…come with me…come…come…fuuuuck." He groaned one last time and came quickly.

What?

What the fuck?

He rolled off of me, rested his head on my chest and brought me closer to his body.

What?

"I'm really glad we're gonna get married, babe."

I didn't answer him. I was still a little shocked from what just happened.

He was always like this. So rushed, so…sloppy even.

I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I couldn't deny he had brought me to orgasms several times…but sometimes a girls needs more than just a quick, fast and rushed fuck.

Sooner than I thought, he was fast asleep next to me. I looked over at him and shook my head.

Sometimes I felt I was in a relationship with a kid.

I mean, he had so much fun together…as much fun as we could. We talked and went out. Everything was great…until it wasn't. When we tried to have a serious conversation? He acted just like a kid. He avoided the matter, he avoided me. That's why he had said 'tomorrow'. It was as if he could feel what was coming, he could feel what I was gonna say and he stopped me by ignoring me.

He knew something was wrong in this relationship, he knew something had been wrong for a while and he tried his hardest to stop me from saying it.

I sighed, wrapped the sheet around my body and walked slowly to the living room. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. The muffled sound did little to calm my racing thoughts.

God, I had so much to think.

Did I really agree to marry him?

_You're so stupid, Bella._

If I had to be absolutely honest with myself, I knew the real reason I had said yes.

I always knew the real reason for everything I did. Even if he didn't. Even if no one knew it.

I thought that by saying yes it would make all this go away. Just as I thought that running away with Jacob, trying to get away from my problems, would make them disappear. Would make the pain disappear. Would make _his _face disappear from my mind.

I waited…waited for the peace to come as soon as I uttered that word. I had been waiting for that calm since I left. I hoped it would get better and piece would find me.

It didn't.

I couldn't believe it had been a year already.

A year since his last birthday.

A year since I got accused of cheating. Since I saw him kiss someone else.

A year since he begged and cried at my feet. Since he broke down completely and asked for forgiveness.

That was not the right train of thought. I was going to cry if I kept this all.

I moved from the couch and spotted my laptop on the coffee table by the corner. I smiled sadly. I remember how we used to talk all the time. One of our favorites was through emails.

I wonder if he still remembers it?

Does he still have those long letters we used to write to each other?

Did he change his email address?

Could…could it be the same?

I hadn't heard from him since the last time I saw him back in Forks. I had no idea where we went. I had no idea why he left the way he did.

I had no idea if I would ever figure it out.

But for now…his old email address was all I had connecting me to him. And I'd be dammed if I was gonna let go of that.

I made my way to my coffee table, brought my laptop back to the couch and right there, in the middle of my living room, in nothing but a sheet wrapped around me…I decided to bring my past into my present.

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><p><strong>Like it so far? Let me know.<strong>

**See ya tomorrow.**


	3. Chapter 3

**ONE YEAR.**

**PART 3.**

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><p>I tapped my fingers unceasingly against my laptop for about fifteen minutes before I even decided to locate the emails that remained buried in my email account.<p>

I was nervous. Extremely so. I knew what I would find in there. I knew that the hundreds of emails stored in my 'Not wanted' file had the power to bring me to pieces in a heartbeat. I knew what they could do to me.

But still, like the masochist I am…I opened said file.

And yep, they were still there.

_**March 25th 2010.**_

_**Baby, I miss you.**_

_**As soon as I'm done here, I'll stop by your place and we can go buy that ridiculous gear you wanted for Charlie. I'm telling you Bella, he's gonna hate that thing like there's no tomorrow, but hey, don't say I didn't warn you.**_

_**I'll be there around seven. I'm sick of work.**_

_**I miss you.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**E.**_

I felt tears roll down my face as I opened the next one.

_**May 11th 2010.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**I will never get tired of saying it. Last night was…unbelievable…amazing…it was the best night of my life. You are the world to me. You are my soul.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**E. **_

Shit. Shit. Shit.

_**June 21st 2010.**_

_**Baby, please.**_

_**Please, talk to me. I'm begging you. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. You have to know I love you. With all that I am. With all that I have.**_

_**Please, Bella. Let me explain, it's not what you think. Please, baby. I love you. Please, let me call you.**_

_**Last night there was no way for us to talk, I know that now. But…let me explain today, please.**_

_**Please. Please.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**E.**_

And that was the last I knew from him. That was the last email I ever got. That was the last 'I love you' I got. And that was the first time I didn't answer him. I knew what that meant. He knew what it meant. I had never gone more than an hour without answering his emails. It was an unspoken rule between us. There was no other option, except to answer. But I never answered him that time. I couldn't.

Three days later, when I tired contacting him…he had changed his phone number. I went to his house…but no one answered.

I guess that's why he left. I guess that unanswered email meant the end of our relationship. At least I think that's how he saw it. I'll never know.

All I knew back then was he left and took everything with him, leaving nothing behind. Well, he did leave one thing behind…me.

So this right here, might have seemed stupid. Trying to contact him through emails again. For all I knew he also changed his email address. There was no logical reason for him to keep it. He changed everything about him. I had no idea where he was.

But I was going to try anyway.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheeks and mustered all the courage I could. I copied his email address and started typing. I had so many things to say, but none of them were coming out right. I typed and erased what was on the screen like a hundred times.

I mean, what could I say after a whole year without knowing from him?

'Hi, how are you? I have no idea where you are, but I'm still in love with you?'

Yeah, not likely.

But still, I wasn't gonna back down.

I got up from the couch, got into my bedroom and put some sweats and a hoodie on. I wouldn't do this naked.

_As if that makes a difference._

I glanced over at Jacob. He was on his back with an arm thrown over his eyes. The only light in the room was the one coming in through the open door behind me, illuminating just half of his body. He really was a beautiful man. And even when times were not so good, I knew he was a good man. And I knew I should feel bad for every thought going through my mind, because…well none of them were about him.

I should feel bad that I was emotionally cheating on my now fiancé. With someone who probably didn't want anything to do with me. I should feel awful about the fact that Jacob had just been inside me a couple of minutes ago and all I could think about was someone else.

But I couldn't find it in me to care. Not right this second. Not tonight.

I made my way to my living room, turned the fireplace on and sat on the couch. I brought my laptop to my lap and finally let the words pour out of me.

At the end I felt slightly better. The message was short and simple, but it was kind of a start.

I knew I would have my answer in a little while. There were only a couple of options this could go.

Option one. In an hour…he would answer. I wasn't sure what I'd do if that were the case. I didn't know if I was scared or exited about that. and I didn't know if I had screwed up that chance a year ago by not emailing him back myself.

And besides…him answering? It was a long shot anyway.

Option Two. I would get a server notification letting me know the email address I had typed in didn't exist anymore. Making my message bounce back.

Option three. I would get absolutely no answer.

I closed my laptop as soon as I hit the send button. I breathed in deeply, laid my head against my couch and looked up at the ceiling.

I couldn't decide which option I wanted the most.

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><p><em><strong>June 20th 2011.<strong>_

_**Hi, Edward.**_

_**I don't even know if this is still you. For all I know I'm writing to…well, no one. Maybe no one will ever see this, but I had to try. **_

_**You…you have been on my mind tonight. **_

_**Yeah, well…I just wanted to say Happy Birthday.**_

_**So...Happy 25th Birthday.**_

_**B.**_

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><p><strong>Leave me some love.<strong>

**I'll see you in a while.**


	4. Chapter 4

**ONE YEAR.**

**PART 4.**

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><p><strong>June 21th 2011. <strong>

The light coming in through the large window in my living room woke me up from my restless night. I laid on the ouch on my side and as soon as my eyes opened, I glanced at my laptop, waiting to see the message that would alert me I had a new email in my inbox folder.

It wasn't there.

It hadn't been there yesterday either.

My laptop had remained on for the entire night yesterday and for the entire afternoon today. It was…waiting. Just like me.

Since I sent him that message a few hours ago…well, actually twenty four hours and thirty seven minutes ago, all I had done was stare at the screen.

Hoping.

Waiting.

I went about my day as best as I could, but I didn't manage very well. I didn't even give much thought to Jacob's proposal or what I would do with it. All I could do was think that maybe there was a possibility he didn't go it. But something inside me told me he did. Would he open the message when he saw my name on his screen? Would he read it? And if he did, why wasn't he answering? Did he hate me that much?

I checked my email about twenty times per hour. But the answer I didn't know I so desperately wanted never came.

Neither that dreadful server notice telling me that email address didn't exist anymore. So I knew for sure, his inbox…had a message from me.

After making myself crazy for the last twenty four hours I had made up my mind. I was starting to regret my decision to write him. I felt foolish and stupid. I didn't need this. I was way beyond feeling shitty about myself and about the past.

So with that in mind I got up from the couch and snapped the laptop shut.

-o-

Okay, so…I lied.

I lied about the part of me feeling foolish and shitty and putting an end to this, because if I was being honest with myself…and after some consideration, I realized I had to, I couldn't stop. Not now that I had started. It took me about twenty minutes to figure this out. I actually felt worse just thinking about stopping than the fact that he would probably never answer me.

The truth was…I felt wonderful. I felt alive…relieved. At the end of the day, it didn't matter that he didn't answer. All that mattered was that I felt some sort of sick connection with him.

So as soon as I got home from work, I pulled out my laptop and began typing immediately.

This time I knew exactly what I was gonna write.

_**June 21st 2011.**_

_**5:13 PM**_

_**Hi, Edward.**_

_**I have no idea if you got my last message. I have no idea if you'll get this one. It doesn't matter. I'll keep writing anyway. Maybe someday you'll read them.**_

_**So…I moved to New York. Crazy, huh? I know you'd have never imagined me as a Manhattan girl, but I did it.**_

_**At the beginning the reasons for moving here…well, they were the wrong ones. Some of them still are…but I needed some fresh air. Kind of like you, huh?**_

_**I managed to finish school here. It was kind of hard, since I had already started in Seattle, but I did it. I found an amazing job that I love with all my heart and…well things are…well.**_

_**Kind of complicated at the moment, but nothing the rest don't have to deal with.**_

_**Well, that's it for now.**_

_**Take care.**_

_**B.**_

And that was how my obsession began. Every time I got my hands on a computer, the world became muted. There was nothing outside my screen and my words…to him. I wrote him every day. A couple of times a day, actually.

As the days went by, I grew more confident and bolder in my words. I couldn't see the point in hiding whatever was on my mind. Couldn't hurt to voice my feelings, right? I would do it. I would hold anything back, even if I didn't like it.

_**June 27th 2011.**_

_**4:45 PM**_

_**Hi, Edward.**_

_**It's me again.**_

_**So, there's something I need to get off my chest. I haven't been completely honest here. I know this may be an issue, but I don't want to keep it in anymore.**_

_**Remember Jacob? What am I talking about, of course you do.**_

_**Well…I'm dating him now.**_

_**Actually he just proposed a couple of days ago.**_

_**Don't hate me, please?**_

I hit the send button and waited for…for the answer that would never come. After a few seconds of meditating what I had just wrote…I started writing again.

_**June 27th 2011.**_

_**4:47 PM.**_

_**It was never like that, you know?**_

_**I never even looked at him like that.**_

_**I don't think I saw him even as a friend.**_

_**My eyes were focused solely on one thought…on one person. And that wasn't Jacob Black.**_

Again with the send button.

_**June 27th 2011.**_

_**4:50 PM.**_

_**He came with me to New York. **_

Send.

_**June 27th 2011.**_

_**4:52 PM.**_

_**I didn't want him to come. I asked him not to.**_

_**But I wasn't strong enough to stop him. I was too busy and focused on the greatest pain I had ever known in my entire life.**_

_**I needed to get away. And I did.**_

_**Except I couldn't do it alone. **_

_**I don't know why I'm with him. I guess I haven't been strong enough now either to make him go away.**_

Send. I was becoming kind of hysterical by now. I couldn't care less.

**June 27th 2011.**

**4:53 PM.**

**Sometimes…he takes the pain away.**

**But only for a few seconds. Nothing permanent.**

**Nothing will ever make this go away.**

As soon as I sent that last message…I became a sobbing mess. This was way too real for my own good. Everything came rushing back and my body struggled to deal with it. Emotions were battling inside me, fighting to be free.

And as my luck would have it, Jacob came through the door at that exact moment.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked concerned. He came to sit on the couch next to me, took the laptop from me and brought me to his lap.

Which of course made me cry even harder.

The irony was not lost on me.

"Shh, babe." He said rocking me back and forward a little too fast for my taste. "What's going on? Are you okay? Tell me."

I just shook my head and curled into myself, trying to protect what was left of me…trying to get away from him. From his arms.

When he didn't get an answer from me, his hands started over my legs. Stroking. Feeling. Caressing. He lifted my head by my chin and kissed my lips softly.

Foolishly…I answered to his ministrations. He took that as a good sing and moved me so I was on my back and he was hovering over me. In no time we were both naked and he was moving his fingers inside of me…almost as if he knew my body.

Almost.

"I'm gonna make it better babe, I swear." He said kissing down my chest, moving to my breasts.

_I doubt it._

He opened my legs with his and settles between them. He wasted no time and pushed inside. He moved slowly. Lovingly. Whispering words I didn't want to hear. I couldn't hear them over my pounding and anxious heart.

_He thinks it's beating that way for him._

While he moved inside me…I turned my head to the side. I gasped when I saw the computer laying there in the coffee table next to us.

This felt wrong. Totally wrong. And like the stupid little girl I was, I begged. Anything to get the other person away from my mind.

"Harder, Jake. Fuck me harder."

"Yeah, babe? You want me to fuck you?" he said breathlessly.

I nodded quickly.

And he did.

He moved frantically against me. Grunting and panting. His whispered words were no longer sweet and soft…they were dirty now.

I closed my eyes and for the first time in a while…behind my eyelids I actually saw the man moving inside me.

I didn't see green eyes.

I didn't see that smoldering gaze that has haunted me for the last year.

I forgot about Edward for a minute or two. Jacob did the work for now.

And then those green eyes were back in full force. Stronger than ever. Screaming at me to stop this.

I didn't have a chance to do it. Jacob came with a grunt and collapsed on me.

I didn't even give him a chance to recover. After it was all over I told Jacob I needed time for myself. Alone.

He tried to put up a fight.

But also for the first time, I didn't let him stay.

He tucked himself into his pants and with a last look at me, he left my apartment.

Leaving me alone with my misery.

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><p><em><strong>June 27th 2011.<strong>_

_**6:05 PM.**_

_**Do you remember us, Edward?**_

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><p><strong>See you tomorrow?<strong>

**Xim.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer. Mrs. Meyer owns it all**

**Sorry for updating so late…or so early depending on where you are. Ff was being a bitch.**

**A little warning…Bella is a little bit drunk here. Well, she's drunk as fuck. Enjoy.**

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><p><em><strong>June 27th 2011<strong>_

_**06:32 PM.**_

_**Do you remember how good we were?**_

_**Do you remember how much we loved each other?**_

_**I do.**_

_**Every single day of my life.**_

I closed my laptop way too forcefully. How the fuck could I sit here and mourn over the greatest love I had ever known, when I wasn't even strong enough to get Jacob out of my life?

I made my way to my kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Jack. My new favorite friend.

I didn't even bother with a glass. I wouldn't need one.

I went back to the couch and sat my ass down. And I just sat there…for God knows how long, staring at the fire burning in my fireplace.

It helped me not to forget. It was almost a metaphor. At that moment I became the fire. I was burning inside and out and it didn't look like something was putting me out any time soon.

But I had to burn.

Dramatic, right? Yeah, it was the Jack talking.

Well, fuck it.

Out of instinct I grabbed my laptop once again. It may be stupid and senseless of me, especially since I was drunk as fuck…but I couldn't have cared less. This is what my heart wanted.

It crossed my mind that this may be turning into something sick and addictive. I mean, I was probably talking to no one. Maybe the fucking server would delete the messages after a month or something, seeing that no one was attending to them.

What-the-fuck-ever.

This right now…was what made me happy. What made me work and function. What made me breathe. So again…fuck it.

_**June 27th 2011.**_

_**08:17 PM.**_

_**You know…this is kind of fucking with my head.**_

_**It's making me even dumber that what I already was.**_

_**It's making me do stupid shit I wish I never would have allowed myself to do.**_

_**But the thing is…I'm done with it. I'm done with him.**_

_**Waking up next to him…waking up with him…it's not the same…it's not the same as being with you. It never was. It never has been.**_

_**It's not that he's…he's…wrong…or whatever. He…he needs to grow up. He's practically a kid. A baby. He's sweet as chocolate. He's wonderful and fantastic. He's understanding and patient.**_

_**But…he's missing that…that lion…that ferocity you had inside you.**_

_**He treats me as a sweet flower…but nothing compares to your wickedness.**_

_**Nothing compares to the things you made me feel.**_

_**I can still feel your nails scrapping across my back.**_

_**I can still feel your hands squeezing every part of me they could reach.**_

_**Your tongue poisoning my throat.**_

_**Your teeth nipping my neck…torturing me.**_

_**Without all of that…I feel nothing.**_

_**Making love with him…it's not the same thing…I don't see stars…I don't see the moon.**_

_**His gaze lacks that fire that yours had…his soul lacks passion…and commitment.**_

_**I wanted to forget you with him.**_

_**I wanted to have my revenge for all the pain you caused me…for all the pain I caused you…and it backed fired on me…so badly…so, so badly, that I'm having trouble breathing around him. I'm having trouble breathing at all.**_

_**Every time he's on top of me…every time he's inside me…I don't see black shoulder length hair…I see your beautiful bronze locks falling from your head to your forehead.**_

_**I don't see big brown eyes…I see those gorgeous green orbs hypnotizing me.**_

_**Every time…it's your sharp and strong hips making its own road towards my body.**_

_**Your not always there stubble…scratching my cheeks…my neck…my lips…my thighs.**_

_**Your crooked grin that melted my heart….they were the best things I had in my life.**_

I don't know if I was panting or crying or silently sobbing. Whatever it was…it was absolutely horrible. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't be with Jacob. Even if that didn't bring Edward back to me…I couldn't do it. I was going to do what I should have done when I first got to New York…or even before that.

I had to get Jacob out of my life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>June 27th 2011<strong>_

_**11:59 PM.**_

_**I miss you so much, Edward.**_

_**So, so much.**_

* * *

><p><strong>See you tomorrow?<strong>

**I think I'll be writing about two more chapters than I'd already had in mind. So I'll close it up at 8 chapter probably.**

**Xim. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer. Mrs. Meyer owns it all.**

**Okay, this chapter…well, you're gonna hate someone here, for sure. This chapter turned out to be longer than I wanted to, so I divided it in two.**

**That means one more chapter to this story.**

**No message for Edward today.**

* * *

><p><strong>June 28th 2011.<strong>

When I wasn't cracking my knuckles like a mad person, I was drumming my fingers against the wooden table where I sat. I had been here for about fifteen minutes and I was getting annoyed. I mean, was it that hard to be on time at least once? Everybody else did it. It couldn't be that hard, right?

Well, it seemed that it was. For Jacob, anyway.

Yeah, that's right. I was waiting for Jacob.

When I first woke up this morning and threw my guts out hugging the toilet, I dragged my ass to my computer and checked the last messages I had sent…they…well, they made me blush, to say the least.

I was embarrassed, definitely.

But after some consideration and a lot of thinking, I realized I didn't regret writing them. Not because he would see them or anything like that, but because I had made up my mind about my life.

I was twenty four years old and I was done wasting time. If I wasn't gonna be happy with someone by my side, I could at least be happy with myself. All alone.

I had no idea where this new person came from. I wasn't like this before. I was strong and could hold my own.

But then…_he_ left and everything fell apart. Right along with me. I know I was stupid and dependant and whatever…but I didn't care. Edward had altered my life so completely that when he wasn't around…I was kind of lost.

So…I found myself a pair of balls. You know…some _cojones._

I took the fucking engagement ring out of my dresser, tossed it in my purse, called Jacob and demanded him to meet me here.

Yeah, that's right. Demanded. 'Cause I had balls now.

But…well…right now…those balls were kind of nowhere to be seen. Besides getting annoyed and frustrated, anxiousness was making itself present.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I had to do this. I had to.

Finally the little bell on top of the front door rang, signaling Jacob had arrived.

_Deep breath._

_You can do this._

_You will do this._

And I did…I think.

-o-

Twenty five minutes an angry Jacob was slapping his hand against the wooden table between us.

I managed to find my balls hidden under our table and gave him my little speech. Then when his face was so contorted in confusion, I took out his ring and placed it on the table.

He wasn't happy about that. Actually, he was pissed as fuck.

"What the fuck is this Isabella?" he sneered across the table, leaning into me so he could be closer. "What the fuck are you trying to pull here?"

"I'm not trying to pull anything Jacob, but like I said…this isn't working. Not for me, not for you." I said calmly.

"Of course it is working." He said slowly. "I gave you a fucking ring, asked you to marry me and you fucking said yes. Do you not remember it? Because I sure do."

"I know, Jacob. I'm sorry for letting things get this far, I am truly sorry. But you have to know I never meant to hurt you. I was weak and stupid…I'm still am. But I need to do this…I can't let it go any further than this."

"What do you mean any further than this? How long have these _thoughts-" _he said the word as if it would disgust him. "-been around your head? Is this something new or what Bella?"

My silence gave him all the answers he needed.

He looked…hurt. Broken. Confused. Furious.

I reached over to take his hand in mine, only to have him pull it back forcefully.

"Jake…"

"No, Isabella. No. I won't let you do this. This shit ends right now, do you hear me?" he snapped, standing up from his chair. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull. Hard.

I didn't give in. I wouldn't. So I stayed put in my seat and yanked my arm back.

Of course he was way stronger than me and my arm was starting to hurt from all the pulling it back and forward.

And then…I saw it.

I saw it in his face.

He really believed he could take me away from here. He really believed I was gonna marry him. He believed this was gonna work. I could see it in his eyes. He wouldn't let me go. Not willingly. And above else…he really believed I loved him.

God, what have I done?

"Jacob, stop." I said firmly. He did, startled by the sound of my voice. "Why are you doing this? You know this feels wrong. It's not meant to be. You…you don't love me, Jacob."

His face remained the same. Anger and determination. "You have no fucking idea what I feel or don't feel."

I didn't miss the fact that he never said the contrary. He never told me wrong.

"I can see it in your eyes. I can. You don't love me." I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what I was about to do. "And I don't love you, Jacob. I…I love someone else." I barely whispered.

"WHAT?" He roared, making every single customer on the coffee shop turn and stare at us. "What the _fuck_ are you talking about?"

"Jacob, calm down. Don't do this here." I said glancing around the shop. He did the same and it appeared sense came back into his mind.

When he turned back to look at me, I realized it hadn't. He yanked me by my arm harder, this time managing to get me off my seat and he almost dragged me outside. He walked a few steps to some sort of an alley besides the shop and pushed me against the brick wall.

"What the _fuck _are you talking about?" he growled.

Again, I didn't answer him.

That made him angrier. And therefore, that made me scared. "Tell me. Fucking tell me, Isabella."

"E…Edward." I whispered looking down at my feet. It was the first time I had admitted that out loud in a really long time. It may have been cruel, but I knew this was the only way he could leave. This was the only way he could face the truth.

"EDWARD?"

I cringed away from him. I didn't get very far before he grabbed my arms and shook me several times.

"Look at me, bitch." He spat. I raised my eyes to his. "Are you saying you never got over him? Is that what you're saying?"

Silence.

"I can't fucking believe this. I can't."

"Jake…"

"Shut up, whore." He growled. "You're a stupid whore, did you know that?" he was at least a feet away from me, but all of the sudden he stepped forward and pressed himself against me, effectively pushing me against the wall even harder. "How can you tell me you love him when I was inside you for the past year? How can you tell me that when I fucked you every single time I wanted to? Do you know what that's called? That's called a whore, Isabella. You are nothing but a stupid whore."

_What the fuck? _

What the hell is going on here?

Who is this person? I barely recognized him anymore.

_Who are _you_, Bella?_

That made me snap. I gathered all the strength I had and pushed him as hard as I could, making him stagger backwards. He looked surprised. Good.

"Listen to me asshole…you will never talk to me like that again, do you understand? I tried to make this easy but you're making that impossible for me. I don't love you, I never have Jacob and I'm sorry for letting things happen like this. But that doesn't give you the right to treat me like that."

He chuckled and grinned cockily.

"You know what? Laugh all you want, but I know the truth. I know you never, ever gave an orgasm. I know I slept with you out of remorse and…I know I don't love you. I never did." That wiped the smile off. "Stay the fuck away from me, Jacob."

I pushed myself from the wall and started walking away. Then I stopped in my tracks and turned one last time.

"And Jacob…" I called. He turned to look at me. "Fuck you."

And I walked away forever.

* * *

><p><strong>See you tomorrow.<strong>

**Xim.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer. Mrs. Meyer owns it all.**

**Someone mentioned the number of reviews this story has. Don't worry. As long as the five people who are reading this like it…it's enough for me.**

**This chapter is even shorter than the others. Remember, this story is short. It's meant to be that way.**

* * *

><p>The things Jacob said…well they made me think.<p>

A lot.

I knew he was just speaking out of spite. I mean, he never liked Edward. He even hated him a little bit as far as I knew.

But there was a part of me…that believed what he had said. That believed I was all those things. How could I not be? I was in love with a man and i used another one to fill the void the first had left in me.

And I hated Jacob for making me doubt myself. I hated myself for becoming this horrible person.

I arrived at my apartment about fifteen minutes later. I had a lot of time to think on the way home.

I knew what I had to do…even if it would cost me my sanity.

**June 28th 2011.**

**06:54 PM.**

**Hi, Edward.**

**There's a lot I have to say. I have been thinking nonstop about this. And I realized…I can't do this anymore. I have to admit…at the begging I really hoped you would answer. I craved to read your words again. The way we left things…it just wasn't right. It isn't right.**

**I broke it off with Jacob.**

**I can't marry him. I'm not his. My heart is not his. It was stolen a long time ago and I never got it back.**

**But…I hurt him.**

**And I know that if you ever get to read this…I might have hurt you, too.**

**Because out of all the people I could have chosen to move on, he was the last one. The worst one.**

**And that kills me even more than you'll ever imagine. **

**And you have to know...I never cheated on you with Jacob when we were together. I have no idea who said those things to you and since I never had a chance to explain, I'm doing it now.**

**I never did. I never wanted anyone else. There was only you. Always you.**

**And you have to believe that. You may not know the horrible monster I am now…but you have to remember who I was. You have to, Edward. I sure as hell don't.**

**I don't hold what happened with Tanya against you, Edward. I really don't. **

**But…today I lost my hope. I realized you're not answering. I know you won't. And I think I can understand it. I just wished it was different. **

**And…I need to move on. **

**I don't want to. I even refuse to do it.**

**But not knowing from you for over a year…it breaks my heart a little more every time an emails goes unanswered. Every time another day goes by. It just makes me think you…you don't want anything to do with me. **

**I understand.**

**So…that's it.**

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and prepared myself for the last email I would send.

**June 28th 2011.**

**07:05 PM.**

**I love you, Edward. So much.**

**With all my heart. Forever. Always.**

**Goodbye.**

-o-

Four hours later I was still sitting on my couch staring at the fireplace. My laptop was still off and stored away in my room. I wouldn't be writing again.

And that hurt. Even more than I thought it would.

The only sound in the room had been the cracking from the wood as it burned. I could feel the tears drying on my cheeks. I could feel my throat closing up. I could feel my heart breaking all over again.

After a few minutes, a soft knock on my door startled me.

I frowned and looked at my watch. It was pretty late for visitors, so I had no idea who that might be. Actually, I kind of had an idea. And that made me reluctant to open the door. I didn't want to deal with Jacob right now. It was over and he was gonna have to realize that sooner rather than later.

The soft knocking continued.

I groaned and rolled over on the couch. I wasn't answering, so he could knock all he wanted for all I cared.

Yeah, the knocking continued. For about five more minutes.

The thing was…it didn't get stronger or louder. It was still the same soft knocking as it was in the beginning.

God, take the hint please. If I'm not opening I don't wanna see you.

And still…it continued.

I sighed and pushed myself off the couch. I might as well get this over with once and for all. If he wasn't leaving on his own, I had to make sure he understood. I made my way to my door and yanked it open as fast as I could. "What the h-"

It took my mind a second to react. I gasped and brought my hands to cover my mouth. Tears immediately formed in my eyes when I saw who was standing there.

_Oh, God._

This isn't real. It cant be.

"Edward?"

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know if I'll be able to update tomorrow. I hope I can. If not, I'll see you on Saturday.<strong>

**Xim. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer. Mrs. Meyer owns it all.**

**Okay, so…I said I was only gonna be gone for one day and counting today, it's been four. Shit happened. Sorry.**

**Here it is. The reunion.**

* * *

><p><strong>June 28th 2011<strong>

**11:15 PM.**

"What…how…" I mumbled quietly. I…I couldn't find anything else to say. My mind was…a jumbled mess. A freaking tangled web I couldn't get out of.

Every emotion came surging through.

Shock.

Surprise.

Some anger.

They were making my body lock down.

Tremble.

Tingle everywhere.

Or maybe it was just him.

This wasn't happening. Maybe it was the alcohol. It had to be. How many drinks did I have? I was imagining him. I had to.

Or maybe all those emails finally caught up with me and decided to play a prank. A very cruel one.

I mean, I couldn't really have Edward Cullen standing right in front of me, right? Not after a year of not knowing _something _about him. Anything at all.

"Hi, Bella." he said softly with a small smile.

Huh?

I tried to open my mouth to speak, to answer him. No words came out.

What the hell?

He was really here. In front of me.

_After a year. _

How was I supposed to react to this?

I didn't even think about how I would feel if I ever got to see him again. I had written and written without actually giving it any thought as to what I would do or say to him if I ever saw him again. I only got as far as imagining what I would do if he answered.

Turns out, I really wasn't ready for the wave of emotion that took over me.

So, out of instinct...out of pure stupidity…and out of pure pain…I brought my hand up and slapped his left cheek. Quickly. Hard. To the point.

I slapped him for leaving. For not staying. For not talking to me. For letting a year go by without giving some sort of a sign. I slapped him for not answering my emails.

I slapped him for everything I had gone through without him.

And he took it. Just like that.

I breathed shakily and when I finally looked at the expression on his face and saw nothing but sadness reflected…the enormity of what I had just done came crashing down on me.

I had Edward fucking Cullen standing in front of me. after a year of not knowing from him. And as my way of saying hello, I had just slapped him.

I gasped and started sobbing like a fucking crazy person. I brought up my hands to cover my face and turned my back on him, leaving the door open. Leaving him standing in the hallway.

_Yeah, Bella. Please, cry. He doesn't think you're insane at all._

Immediately I felt his arms come around me and hugged me to him. My back to his chest.

This was too much. Way too much for me.

To have him here. To feel him…his warmth. To feel intoxicated by his scent.

_Oh, God._

My knees buckled under me and I almost fell to the floor…but he didn't let me. He held me firmly and so close to him. And I, on return, held onto his arms circling my body as hard as I could.

And I cried.

I cried for my lost love.

I cried for me.

I cried for him.

At one point I think I even heard him cry with me too. That broke me even more.

"I…I thought I…I thought you…" he rasped finally speaking after what felt like so long since I opened my door. "I thought you didn't…it was out rule Bella…we…one…one hour…it was our rule and when you didn't answer…I thought you were over…I thought you were over with me." he hugged me even closer to his chest. "I thought you didn't love me anymore." He cried softly, hiding his face against my back.

_What?_

_Jesus._

I cried even harder. "How…how c-could y-you…I…"

I couldn't do this. Not like this. I wiggled around in his arms and he almost released me. For a moment he thought I was trying to break free from his grasp.

I wasn't.

I just had to see his face when I did this. So, I turned in his embrace and finally took a good look at his features. God, he was just so close. I was beyond words. He looked even more beautiful than I remembered.

I brought my hands up to his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks. And when I finally managed to get my shit together, I whispered. "How could…how could you think t-that? I-I was up-pset. I had just seen y-you…kiss that woman and…I…I was upset. How could you think I had stopped l-loving y-you? I never did." I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

"I know you were upset, Bella. But it scared me...we never went so long without answering each other and I…thought you had chosen him over me." he said that part so softly I barely heard him. "I know I shouldn't have left like that, I know I should have fought…and believe me that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life…but it hurt too much. Knowing…or thinking you didn't love me. And then…Jacob came over and confirmed every doubt I had until that moment."

I gasped and dropped my hands from his face.

"Don't." he whispered and brought my hands back up to his face. "I went to your house, Bella. I knew Charlie was out of town and I practically slept outside…but you…you never answered."

_Christ._

"I lost hope, so I decided to leave."

"I…I had n-no idea…" Jacob? Jacob did that? God, he must hate me right now. And all those things I admitted to him in my emails. I pushed myself away from his chest, trying to ignore the hurt on his face as I stepped back.

"Don't run away from me, please." He begged trying to bring me closer.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?" he asked bewildered.

"For being with Jacob…do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you." he said shaking his head. "I read your emails over a thousand times and I know…I understand. I went through the same. I think that when you know what I have been doing this past year you're gonna hate me even-"

I stopped him with my fingers on his lips.

"I need to know why you came…I need to know why you're here…I need to know so I can…can figure this out."

"I came here for you. I came here because I read everything you wrote. I came because I miss you, because I need to be with you."

"Then I don't need to know what you did…I want to forget this past year…I want to forget everything we did…if you want that, too?"

"Of course I do…let's forget."

And then he kissed me. Slow and delicate and warm and wet and everything I had been missing. For what felt like forever and yet not long enough, he kissed me. With everything he had.

Suddenly he broke from the kiss leaving me panting and gasping for air.

He smiled warmly and whispered against my lips. "Oh…and I came back because I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>I think there's only one chapter left. We'll see if these two decide to end things in chapter 9 or if they keep talking to me.<strong>

**Leave me some love.**

**Xim.**


	9. Chapter 9

**ONE YEAR.**

**YEAR.**

_**The **__**time **__**of **__**the **__**apparent **__**revolution **__**of **__**the **__**sun **__**trough **__**the **__**ecliptic. **_

_**A period more or less nearly agreeing with this, adopted by various nations as a measure of time, and called the civil year;**_

_**In common usage, the year consists of days, and every fourth year (called bissextile, or leap year) of days, a day being added to February on that year, on account of the excess above days (see Bissextile).**_

* * *

><p><strong>YEAR.<strong>

_**The time it took you to get back to me.**_

* * *

><p><strong>June 29th 2011.<strong>

**03:30 AM.**

I sighed contently. There was no way I could be happier than I already was.

All the heartache, the struggle, the confusion…were gone. Absolutely gone. In their place, laid calm, peace and…love. Above everything else, love was the one emotion dominating my thoughts.

We were spread out on my couch. Edward had his head on the armrest and I was between his open legs. He was nuzzling my neck and smelling my hair and I stroked soft circles on the back of his hand that rested on my stomach.

We hadn't said anything I a while now, but we had aired it all out in the last hours. We told each other how much we missed the other. We explained. We asked for forgiveness. We forgave. We were trying to forget the time we spent apart. We cried some more. We kissed some more. We spoke about our past. About what we had been through when we weren't together.

Turns out, I wasn't the only one merely existing over the last year.

He too, was grieving a loss he didn't even know how it had occurred.

And after we spoke so much about what had happened…everything fell right into place.

"Hey." I murmured softly. "Why didn't you answer any of my emails? I went a little nuts, you know. Not knowing anything about you."

He hummed against my ear, making me shiver from the sound. He began caressing my jaw with his nose before he answered. "I hadn't read them until two days ago."

I frowned. Two days? And he still didn't answer?

Awkwardly, I turned in his embrace so that I was laying with my chest pressed against his. He looked down at me and began stroking my cheek.

"So, why didn't you answer?" I tried to ask softly, not wanting to sound judgmental or accusing.

"I…" he stopped to take a deep breath. Shit, was this bad? "Well…like I said I just read them two days ago. I had just returned from London and when I got to my apartment and saw that I had like…more than fifty emails from you…I was…I was amazed, really."

I gave him a shy smile. Yeah, like I said, I went a little nuts.

"But as soon as I got to the part where you said you had moved to New York, I went ballistic. I mean, how much of a coincidence it could be that you ended on the same city as I did…and in a whole year I never even knew you were on the other side of town."

"I didn't have any idea, either."

"So, as soon as I finished reading that email, I wanted to write to you and ask to meet you right that second, but I knew…actually, I had to finish reading those other emails. So I did."

His tone turned serious all of the sudden.

"You mentioned Jacob. And I know you can imagine my world crumbled a little when I read you were dating him."

I broke away from his gaze and suddenly found a spot on his shirt to focus on.

"Hey, don't look away. I've spent way too long without looking at those eyes." He said as he brought my chin up to look at him again. "And besides, we already talked about this, right?"

I nodded softly.

"So…I don't know. I wanted to seek you out and see if…if you were happy. Your emails gave me an idea, but I wanted to see. I would know as soon as I saw you, I would just know it. And if you weren't happy, I would get in there and steal you away from that…from him. But…if you were…I…I had no idea what I'd do."

"I wasn't." I whispered.

He gave me a small smile.

"The thing was, I didn't know where to start looking for you. I only knew where you worked and decided that was the only start I could get. And I couldn't answer until I knew…until I was absolutely sure I wasn't going into this…well, just to get hurt.

"So today, or actually yesterday." He said looking down at his watch. "I decided I would go looking for you. I had to. I had to see you. So, I started my day so determined…well, that ended as soon as I saw you walk into that coffee shop and sit down next to Jacob."

I gasped. Oh, God. He was there?

"Coincidence? I don't know. I didn't stay to find out more. I couldn't. I just went home and read those last emails you sent…thinking…wondering if everything you wrote was actually true."

_Christ._

"I did, Edward." I said frantically. "I swear I did. I know that I screwed up with Jacob, but I swear I-"

He stopped me with his fingers on my lips.

"I know. I know." He kissed my nose. "I went home and sat there like a zombie…just missing you. And then…your last emails came through and something inside me snapped…and…here I am."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"How did you know where I live?" I blurted out.

He chuckled. "That's what you ask me? I called a friend and asked him to track your computer. I figured you had sent those emails from there. It was a long shot, but it worked."

"Wow…you're a stalker."

"Yeah, I am. A stalker that loves you, though."

"And I love you."

"Good."

A few seconds passed by before I spoke again. "Take me to bed, Edward."

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it. <strong>

**Want another one? ;)**

**Let me know.**


	10. Chapter 10

**ONE YEAR.**

* * *

><p><strong>June 29th 2011.<strong>

**05:37 AM.**

"Fuck, I missed you." Edward said panting as he plopped down next to me. "Have I said that already?"

I wanted to answer him. I really did, but I was out of breath. And my mind was still incoherent and jumbled…except this time it was for another different reason.

"Did you hear me?" he whispered pulling me against his body and nuzzling my neck.

We were in my bed. Laying next to each other, exhausted, with the sheets tangled around our bodies.

Oh, and we were naked. Very much.

After so much talking and trying to figure everything out, we needed a break. So I asked…actually demanded, that he made love to me.

And he did.

We reconnected. We were getting to know each other all over again, but at the same time it was like we never left each other. Like we never broke apart.

He moved slowly, deliberately, but with a passion that took my breath away. I knew he was trying to show me with his body, with his hands and kisses…everything he felt. Everything he said. Everything he couldn't say because words weren't enough.

I knew because I tried to do the same.

"Hey, I'm getting kind of worried here." his words reminded me that there was someone next to me demanding my attention. So I turned my body so that I could face him, leaned in and kissed him.

"Yeah, you said that a couple of times already. I'm actually getting kind of sick of it." I teased.

"Oh, really? It's been like what? Six hours since I got here and you're already done with me? Really nice, Isabella. Really nice."

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

"Do I?" he moved around the bed until he settled on top of me. His arms went around my head, effectively encasing me. "You really should take that back." he whispered softly against my lips.

"No."

"No?"

I shook my head.

"Okay…don't say I didn't warn you."

"Warn me about wh-" my words were cut off when he started ticking my body. Especially my ribs.

"Stop, Edwards…stop." I gasped in between giggles. "Stop, please."

"Take it back."

"No."

"Do it." He continued with his torture. "Do it and I'll stop."

"Okay, okay." He relented and smiled down at me. "But I don't even know what it is that I have to take back."

"You said you were sick of me."

The moment that was so light and fun, it suddenly turned serious and pressing.

His eyes told me what his words wouldn't. He knew I could never get sick of him, he knew it. He just needed…reassurance?

So, I would give it to him. Anything he wanted. I'd give it to him.

I brought my hands to his face, gently grasped his cheeks and looked him before whispering. "I will never get sick of you. Ever. I promise."

His answering smile was absolutely breathtaking.

And I took the opportunity to kiss him. To show him. To reassure him in every way he needed. In that moment, I realized I wasn't the only one who had a rough time being without the other one. He too, suffered.

But we were passed that. There was no looking back, only ahead of us.

And what laid ahead of us right now…was the other.

This time was so different than the last one. This time it was consuming, demanding, passionate. He made love to me in ways I had never known. He made me scream his name so much, I couldn't remember if there had been any other man walking on this earth. He found spots deep inside me that were long forgotten and only he knew how to find.

He made me feel alive again.

-o-

"Hey baby." I yelled from the bathroom as I finished taming the mess that was my hair. I finally emerged from the bedroom a few minutes ago, but Edward resisted getting up from there. "You mentioned something before. You said you were in London until a few days ago. What were you doing over there?"

"I…um…I…I was looking into some things…" he said vaguely.

That got my attention. I frowned and left the bathroom. I walked into the bedroom and stood by the end of the bed. "What things?"

He suddenly looked nervous. He ran a hand through his hand before he spoke. "I got…I got offered a scholarship to continue with some research I was doing here."

Oh.

"Oh. In…London?"

"Yeah."

"And…you're going?"

There was no answer needed. I could see by the look on his face that he _was _going.

I mean, how could he not? It wasn't like he could drop everything and stay here. He shouldn't have to put his life on hold for me. He had no obligation.

But it didn't stop my heart from breaking into tiny pieces.

"Bella…"

"No…it's okay. You don't have to explain anything…I…" I had to get away from here. "I'll be right back…I'm gonna take a walk, okay?"

And I did. I left the apartment and walked around aimlessly trying to focus on what I had to do.

Could I go with him? Could I leave everything behind and leave with him?

I knew without a doubt…if he asked me…I would.

After a while of walking around, my cell phone beeped signaling I had a new email.

It was from Edward.

I opened it without a second thought.

_**June 29th 2011.**_

_**Hey…you left like an hour ago. But it feels like a lifetime.**_

_**Please, let me explain.**_

_**Please.**_

_**Come back.**_

_**I love you.**_

The only thing I knew…I ran away from him without giving him the chance to explain. Or to even let him tell me he was really leaving. I didn't answer his email. I was like ten minutes away from my apartment…I could run there and show him.

-o-

I knocked on the door several times before he finally opened. He looked worried. Concerned. Hurt.

I had made him like that.

"You're back." he whispered amazed.

I didn't answer. I jumped and threw my arms and legs around him.

He caught me. Without thinking about it.

It was natural for us.

"I don't care." I started kissing him. Everywhere. "I will go with you…but I'm not letting you go again."

"I'll stay, but I'm not letting you go either." He panted against my neck as his hands wandered and brought my shirt up to take it off. He walked us to my bedroom and placed me down on the bed before he hovered over me.

"Fuck, Edward. I love you." I said as I removed his pants…right after he removed mine.

"I love you, too. If you want me to stay…" I shut him up placing my hand against his warm form. I aligned him up with me and pulled him to me.

"Now, make love to me. We'll talk later. All I care is that we'll never be apart…not again."

"Never again."

**Fin.**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you so much for sticking with me in this short little story. Hope you liked it.<strong>

**All my love. **

**Xim.**


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